Bz Mommy

Back from the hospital..I felt that half of my strength is gone. Didn’t know or expect that giving birth is this straining. No wonder for the strict confinement rules.

Here’s my labour story.

10~11pm – My brother-in-law and sister came and pick me up to go Mt A. My parents wanted to come along too. Decided that I should have my fill of Fillet-O-fish 1st!

12am – Reach Mt A, was shoo-ed to the delivery ward without registering. Dr was there! Heng ah! I felt more assured if he is the one doing the induction than the nurses here. Nurses are ROUGH!

1230am – Changed. Dr inserted the induction pill. Was told not to get out of bed in the next one hour

130am – Cannot take it, must go pee. Alone in the delivery ward. Haiz.

Tick Tock Tick Tock, the clock is so loud that I couldn’t sleep at all

2am+ – Contractions getting worst…

5am + -The contractions is killing me! The backaches that comes with the contraction is terrible. It’s like a hammer breaking my bones! Spare me!

6am – Nurse came and check my dilation. 1.5cm, ONLY! OMG! And she is damn rough can?! Stupid nurse! I think her fingers are short!

7am+ – Had my breakfast of 1 miserable slice of bread and a cup of milo. How to fill my stomach?

Cannot tahan the contraction already. I NEED EPIDURAL!

8am+ -Epidural administered. Finally! Instant pain-free! The administering is painless too.

9am+ – Another nurse came and check my dilation. No feeling..Epidural wan shui! But I am only 3cm dilated. OMG, when is this going to end? Dr came in and break my waterbag.

Dr said I will most likely be delivering at around 4-5pm. I was like HUH?! can be faster or not? I am damn hungry lor.

12pm+ – 8 cm dilated! Nurse said I can start pushing at 1pm+ They are calling my Dr to inform him.

130pm – The midwives and nurse positioned me and ask me to start pushing. How to push? I don’t know whether I am pushing the right way. Should be lah. My sis was counting 1-10 for me.

215pm – Dr came, and I am still trying hard to push. I am out of strength. I felt dizzy. I felt like giving up. Everything is spinning around me.

245pm – Asked Dr to assist me using vacumn. I really tried my best. 1 hr 15mins of pushing is draining away all my energy.

250pm – I feel like puking.

252pm – Puke 4 times, Dawn is out.

The moment Dawn is out, Dr put her on my chest. I teared. She is such a darling. Someone who encouraged me by kicking me when I was feeling down. Someone who despite all unfavorable condition remains strong. Someone who despite being disowned by her own dad is determined to live.

And nope, he doesn’t have the guts to even visit Dawn in the hospital. And no, I am not being judgemental. Dare to come or dun dare to come, It’s a yes or a no.

After I was being settled at around 4pm+, I was left alone in the ward to rest. I smsed some of my friends about Dawn’s appearance. And these friends came down to visit me immediately on that very same day. They are such a lovable bunch of people!

Something which sprang me off before going to the hospital…

Went to the gynea again. Mom went with me ‘cos she’s worried that I will be admitted straight away. ..told her otherwise, but she is still very concerned.

CTG checked that my contractions are not that regular. Cervix still not open (aiyo!). And the most crucial, my water level drop again! Dr said I must be induced today or tomorrow. Looks like I have no other choices. At least I should be thankful that I still can walk in to the hospital smiling, and not panic over sudden contractions.

So here am I, back at home, packing up all my stuff to bring to the hospital. After today, I won’t be alone in the room anymore. I have a life to take care for the next 21 years at least. Not sure how my delivery process will be…hope I am strong.

Will be reaching Mt A after 12am (21 Jan), still have a few hours more..

Today is supposed to be Dawn’s EDD, he didn’t call at all. I know I know, we are always waiting for each other. He waiting for me to call to tell him, I waiting for him to call to ask…what the heck. It’s his daughter leh, shouldn’t he be bothered to at least ask?

Took a peep over our house, he’s not in..may be in some pubs again..

Away from all these, my friends were excited for me! Rine and Na had been sms-ing me. H also encouraged me with his sms and calls. They are more excited than Dawn’s father.

It’s scary to think about the loniness inside the delivery ward. No warm hands to hold on, no whispers to my ears, no hugs..

Dawn’s EDD (Estimate date of delivery) is 20 Jan 07.

Thought today will be my last consultation with my gynea. Was alone at the clinic again.

Gynea told me that my water level is dropping. Worst, my cervix is not opened, which means I won’t give birth any time now. He wants me to check myself into the hospital and have an induction. I scare leh..

Checked with Dr on the risks on holding the induction till further date…he said by Sat if there are no sign of delivery, I MUST be induced.

Dawn ah Dawn…guai guai okie?