A long post and it contains some pictures which can be offensive to some. Don’t say I never warn you 
It is not by purpose for a week of absence from blog, but rather an incapability to pen my thoughts down. I had temporary became rather handicapped on my right hand because I had an operation.
I had discovered 1 lump near my right hand ring finger and soon there were 2. Even though they do not cause any pain even when pressed, I was still very concern with the extra growth. I went to my regular GP and he told me there’s nothing to worry about because it’s most likely water cyst and that even after removed, they will still grow back.
So I left them be.
And then they grew – to quite a noticable size. Can you see them from this photo? This was taken a few days before my operation. If you can’t see them, then try comparing to your palm.
And so I went to Dear’s regular GP and he suggested that I take them out. It was planned to take them out in his clinic but when I returned to him 3 weeks after for the minor surgery, the GP said that it had grew and it was more dangerous to extract in clinic and I should be referred to Specialist immediately.
I was referred to SGH and my operation was fixed 2 weeks after, which was the next operation available as the surgeon only operates on Fridays and the next 2 weeks were public holidays.
It was a horrifying experience to me. My hand had to be placed in an awarkard position and the stupid needle was painful to my thin skin on my palm. I can literally feel the cutting pain initially and I have to keep saying PAIN PAIN PAIN to make the surgeons inject more anesthetic. 
After about 5 minutes (I was facing the clock and was staring at it throughout the ordeal), I heard the surgeon asked his nurse to request for a camera. And the next moment, he said,
“Hazel, I have a good news and a bad news for you, which one do you want to hear first?”
I was nervous. And I mumbled “Just say”.
The surgeon told me that the lumps are actually tumour and not ganglion as what was initally diagnosed. However, the good news was the tumours are benign. The bad news was, they are nerve tumours and that some nerves had to be removed together with the tumours (which means it will affect my touch senses in future).
What happened next are all in a dazed. I was worried, scared, curious, nervous and all different sorts of feelings seem to just dwell on me.
Oh ya, there are 3 tumours instead of 2 and they line in a straight line on my nerve. They look like macadamia nuts!
And I left the operating theatre with a big bandage..
Side view :
I looked as if I had just survived a cat fight.
My stiches healed well and I went back to SGH for review and changed my bandage. I took a photo of my stitched wound while waiting for my turn to the surgeon’s room. Long and ugly scar
I am going to remove the stitches next week. I still feel the pain at the wound area and when doing some actions with my hands. I had lost sensation on one side of my ring finger but the surgeon said that it will recover slowly. I doubt it will be for the next few years. But I am thankful that the tumours are not cancerous and I still have my life to keep.
This is my fifth operation since my birth. The experience of each operation is just different..
First
I was only 5-6 years old then. Wanted to play hide and seek with my sister who just came back from school and I ran to hide in the bedroom. But instead of hiding, I ran and tripped and knocked my lips onto the sharp edge of the door and fountain of blood just shot out from the lips. I was crying, my mom was nervous, it was lunch time and a neighbour helped me to a cab and brought me to a clinic which operate during lunch. I was left with 3 stitches and a puffy lower lips. I can’t recalled much on the whole event after being sent to the doctor but I remembered the cloth which the doctor covered my face when stitching me smell like some biscuit. Maybe I was hungry.
Second
I was in Poly Year 1/2 and had an abscess at my armpit (yah, of all places -.-) I had to have some surgical intervention and my eldest sis had to rush down from work to admit me to NUH (I still need a guardian because I was not 21 yet!). I was in pain ‘cos the swelling was really very bad. My family were still laughing at me till these day because of the tears that I shed in front of the doctors and nurses -.-
My family members were all with me. But I was yielding for someone to visit me. A heartless man who two-timed me and a good friend. And of ‘cos he never turned up because he didn’t know I was admitted.
The day I was discharged, a guy friend called. When I told him I was in hospital the day before, his long silence and response after was something which I had not expected. A year later, he was my boyfriend for the next 2 years.
Third
Had to go for an operation (it’s pte and thus I am not going into details :p ) at the age of 25. My mom accompanied me. Had to stay one night in the hospital as its GA operation. Thinking back, I was foolish for not realising that the man then was not the right person to get married with. He didn’t take leave from work (it was a sat) to accompany me for the operation. He came in the afternoon but was playing with his game gadget half of the time. And I had to keep reminding him to come early to fetch me the next morning. The feeling was totally wrong…
Fouth
Ok, this might not be categorised as an operation but I was in a delivery ward. Yes, it’s bringing Dawn to this earth. My second sister was with me. 15 hours of labour and the bastard was out drinking in a pub .
I can still remember Dawn’s look when she was being cleaned. Her eyes, her expression, her emotion, they are all still very clear in my mind now.
Fifth
A horrifying experience because it’s local anesthetic. Being awake while being cut is just an awful feeling.
The only thing which had made me brave and loved was the presence of him. When I first stepped out of the operating theatre, he was already sitted there waiting for me. I was in a dazed but his presence had reassured me. He took leave without me having to ask. And he stayed 2 nights with us so as to help me with Dawn.
I remembered I was very talkative after the operation and in the cab. And I know I was not behaving myself. The talkativeness was just to hide my frightful experience in the theatre..I think he sensed it and just let me rattle on….
Thanks baby :*
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